clarity.

ok, so we're back, well, i'm back. Haven't been around for the best part of a month, inbetween getting my dissertation to a respectable standard and having other assignments with our creative team (LMC) i haven't had much, or any time, to do the blog thing.

so i'm off for a week from uni, a much needed break, and i actually thought i'd have lots to say, well, i do, but not much makes good blog material.

Anyway, was reading this book call Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, awesome book, i recommend it.

So the book talks about living life and just being happy, to not worry so much about dissatisfaction and anger, and to just embrace what's good in your life. Offering different meditation methods along the way.

The title of the book is something i've said for years to people, i don't even know where or why i started saying it actually, but i liked it, didn't even really understand it to be honest.

the book got me thinking about some small stuff i always have. I always have coins in my pocket, and not just like 20p or 50p or whatever, i mean like £10, in coins, God knows how i gather all these coins, but they're pretty heavy sometimes, sometimes i actually worry about spending the coins, just so i don't have to have them in my pocket, buying things i don't need, mostly food really, but that's another story.

why am i talking about spending coins? coz sometimes, the little things in our life are the things we should care just a little bit less about. Something i've been trying to do of late, just letting go of the things that i have either no control over, or aren't really of importance when i think about it.

We all have bigger fish to fry in the grand scheme of things, right now, my fish is university, so i'm focussed on that, getting my degree, getting a job after that and just generally start living for me.

Along the way, i'll dissapoint some people, because i'm not sweating over their small stuff with them, and i'm ok with that, i wouldn't expect them to worry over my small stuff, like my coins.

Just try it for a while, see where it takes you, for me, i've been transported to a place of clarity, where it's all starting to break down and make a lot more sense, my moment of clarity if you will.

"May the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows"

feels good to be back on the blog.

much love.

(more blogs coming soon, i actually do have alot i wanna say)

live life proceed progress.

Today while on the train to Uni for the first time in 2010, as i sat there eating my Soho Club bagel from Bagel Factory, it hit me, this journey has become so mundane and habitual that i no longer look forward to coming to university. Is it the journey, is it that I've been in education for so long that i no longer feel motivated by it, is it my impatience to get going onto the next stage in my life and start building a career?

You know, back when I first started coming to uni, 3 years ago, all seemed new and important, all seemed exciting and i anticipated everyday to be a new discovery. I think as the time has passed by and people have come and gone, the one constant has always been the dreary campus i frequent now, rather than live at, as i did in my first 2 years.

The people here too, something has changed, we've all changed, for the better i believe. But as i now sit here in the library, taking a break from writing my dissertation with Kanye cheering me on, i'm forced to think about whether this is all worth it. I've always been someone who has to change with the times, to adapt to the maze when the cheese is moved.

Lately i've been thinking about who has moved my cheese and why they moved it. Right now i have no idea, i just know everything around me is becoming stale, and a lot of people i know seem to have not noticed that things around us have changed, for better and for worse, but i'm aware of this and i've gotta keep it moving, the cheese has now been taken away from me, i'll find it again, so off i go, on my travels once more, in search of that next thing, that next high, a high provided only by life.

I blogged once about habits and repetition, and how i refused to become one of the drones, seems like i need to take my own advice on this one. As the Jay-Z song goes, it's on to the next one, whatever it may be, if you're not rolling with me, you will be rolled over.

"i am suffocated and lost when i have not the bright feeling of progression"
Margaret Fuller

much love

to be or not to be

"that is the question, whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?"

ok let's rewind. Today i was texting a friend of mine and asked her about maybe some inspiration for a topic for the blog, and within seconds, i got a reply, the topic she recommended was "should or shouldn't" and about having something you want right in front of you, but seemingly unable to have this thing, whatever it may be.

This got me thinking about when i was 17 and read Hamelt for the first time, and his soliloquy in Act3 Scene1 and how he ponders over his suicide. Now obviously i'm not talking about suicide here, but what i am talking about is the power we have to do certain things, but then almost ironically, through conscience, we take that power away from ourselves.

It's like this, we've all had those moments when we're faced with something that we're enamoured with, that we're seemingly suffocated by, the thought of you and that person or thing fills you with excitement, anxiously waiting, anticipating the outcome....but then, conscience strikes and all those external factors come tumbling down, a scenario looms, seemingly awash with complication and confusion, what do you do??

"Thus conscience does make cowards of us all"

I think that we tend to make things a lot more complicated than they should be, through fear of judgement by others, through lack of self belief, through self torture, whatever, it all boils down to the same thing, are we willing to make the decision we want, for us?

To understand that in life you have to be at least a little selfish for your own hapiness, that the faith we have in our friends and family is the same faith we wish for them to have in us, to appreciate and accept that all of us, at the end of the day, just want to be happy.

Life is all about choices, and sometimes the easiest ones are in their own right, the hardest one's too...in a way i'm glad nothing is ever black and white, coz that'd make life boring, and no-one likes boring, Shakespeare knew that a 110years ago when he wrote Hamlet, i'm only learning the true meaning 6years after reading it.

"if you don't ask, you don't get"

Mahatma Ghandi

much love

here's looking at you kid

So yesterday I was sitting at work and watching Casablanca, if you’ve never seen it I suggest you do, great movie.

And there’s a scene in it where Humphrey Bogart’s character Rick Blaine says
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world... she walks into mine."

What a great line, the sense of the unknown brought to life from those simple words, hindsight is a great thing right? A

This got me thinking about 2010 and the year to come, and how the last 9 years of this decade have changed so dramatically, in my life rather than the world, coz I don’t think I could summarize how much our world has changed in this short blog.

I think for me I’ve come a very, very long way, not just in age, but as an individual too. Just look back and think about who you were 10years ago, and then think about who you are now. But don’t even try thinking about who you will be in 10years time, no-one can predict that.
Like seasons, people change, like plants, we grow, this metamorphosis of life is something that lately I’ve been thinking about more and more, and also got me realizing that one day 10years from now, I too could be saying those words about the woman I’m with, or the woman I’m married too, who knows, only God knows, and I trust in that.

As I write this, on my blackberry, (wow haven’t phones come a long way?) there are about 12.5 half hours left in 2009, and I get this urge to want to thank everyone who I’ve met this year who’s significantly impacted my life, positively and negatively, or even both, but I know that’s impossible, as some of those people talk too much (you know who you are) and I’ll never get round to thanking everyone, so here is my short list of things I’m grateful for, without having to name names.


that i've had another year to try and earn my wings, getting there slowly.
for heartbreak
for the summer of 09
for this blog, wish i'd started it sooner
for Barcelona
that i've learned that you can't change anything, everything will happen the way it's meant to.
for Karma, Brian knows what i mean
for my family, always there to keep me grounded, to pat me on the back or kick me in the backside when i most needed it.
for you, for even reading this blog.

2010 is looking good people, be grateful for what has passed, but don't let it dictate what's to come.

here's looking at you kid.

for the last time in 09, Much Love.

unexpectedly grateful

you know when you meet new people, you already have a set prediction/judgement of what they will or won't be like.
Funny, but recently i got to know someone whom i had been introduced to months ago, but only got to actually know who they were in the last week and a bit.
Suffice to say, the person they are is a whole lot like the person i am, reason i say this is that we have a lot of the same feelings with regards to our futures, which in itself is a bit weird coz we're two seperate individuals, but a pretty intriguing person they turned out to be, and i'm glad i'm getting this chance to know them now, better late than never i reckon.

Anyway, after speaking to this person about something i've always wanted to do, motivational speaking to young people around 13-18 years old, we realised that not many, if any people want to take time out and actually help people.

The older i've become, the more i feel a responsibility to teach those younger than me that life will test you at every turn, that no matter what you're going through, nothing is permanent, everything is temporary. To try and teach them from my mistakes, but to go out there and make their own mistakes too, coz there's no better teacher than experience.

I have a younger sister, who will be 18 in February, and the older we both get, the more i think we've become accustom to each other and our litte quirks. We used to fight all the time as kids, and i never really got why we'd fight so much.

Looking back, i think i'm coming to the realisation that we fought because we're more similar than either of us would like to admit and if that's true, and if i am anything to go by, then i'll try my utmost to make sure she doesn't have to go through some of the shit i have. The bond we share is unlike that of me and my older sister, it is a much more love/hate relationship, more love than hate in recent times, which i'm appreciative of as i get older, because i am my sisters' keeper

my next blog will touch on that, my obligation, my duty, my life's purpose as a brother to my younger sister

So the next time you meet someone new, or you know someone who you think, "i'd love to get to know them"..go for it, coz who knows, lightning might strike and you might be sat there like me, listening to Alicia Keys songs musing over your role in the life of others.

"If you do not the expect the unexpected you will not find it, for it is not to be reached by search or trail." : Heraclitus

much love

commenting

hey people

had a few complaints that visitors can't comment..

if you click on the blog title..ie "the greatest myth" then you can comment on the page at the bottom.

or if there aren't any comments click "O COMMENTS" at the bottom of the blog post and be the first. :o)


much love

the greatest myth

Recently i was on facebook, and came across a friend Alison's status that provided me with the inspiration for this blog. The status read:

"would like the ladies to know you are neither "too much" or "not enough" , but fine just the way you are.. Don't believe the hype!"

And this got me thinking about the women i have met, whether it was my first kiss or my most recent, well, you know....I've had my perceptions of them, and me being me, i've expressed my opinions to them, without ever really thinking about how it would affect them, and the way they'd perceive themselves after that.

I feel that women today, especially those my age, are in a state of limbo with us guys.

Let me explain, as the status says, you are neither too much or not enough, us guys tend to forget that not everyone is perfect and that the little flaws that our prospective partner possesses are what make her.

These are the fibers of her character, that we should have and hold, appreciate and accentuate every time we see her, because believe me, when it all comes crashing down, it's these little idiosyncrasies that we will miss, that we will tell our friends about, if you've ever been in love and things didn't work out for whatever reason, tell me you've never said this "oh man, i used to love the way she'd burp like a trooper" or whatever weird little thing she did that you loved.

This is my point, girls need not seek approval from us, they need not have to be made to feel that who they are is inferior to who we are. We are men, God knows we have enough pitfalls of our own, so why knock her for what she is, for what you walked across a crowded room for, for what one day, hopefully, you'll get to tell people that these are the exact reasons you fell in love with her.

i know me writing this is kind of a contradiction, as my track record with women isn't the most comfortable for some, but no-one's perfect, i'm not perfect, but i'm working on it, at a point in my life i subscribed to the playa lifestyle, fortunately for me i've learned my lesson, unfortunately for some of the guys i know, they haven't, they still live in never never land, where nobody wants to grow old, where nobody realises that at some point, it's not always about them.

For any women reading this who feel that they're not understood by their boyfriend/partner/hook up, whatever, just remember that it's ok if you are not is tune with every other girl out there, that you hear your own drummer, that you should step to your own beat, no matter how measured or far away....for you are enough, just the way you are..you are not too much or not enough, you're everything we want, you're everything we need, you're evrything inside we wish that we could be.

songs for you truths for me

Vertical Horizon - Everything you want

Lyfe Jennings - Never Never Land

much love