29 June 2010

when patience turns into anger.

Nothing Remains

Most of the people who know me well may have never known me to get angry at anything, because rarely is there anything that i can say angers me, I live a calm existence, spiritually, mentally and physically, but here goes.

Tonight i realised that some people just don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves, that the old saying "do unto others as they do unto you", is 
something I shall be putting into practice with immediate effect.

Today I realised that sometimes the people who you've long suspected to be selfish, actually are. Unashamedly so. I have learned a lot from my friends, they've been with me through some great times and through some not so great times, and those are the friends i want to keep. The ones of which i speak are those who shall learn what it is like to be ignored, to be shown that the way you treat others is the way you should expect to be treated.

For the longest time, with those that I actually care about, I've stayed in touch, a call or a text just to see how my friends are doing, as all friends should do. But when the reality of it all hits you, like a speeding train, it is sometimes not what you expect.
For me right now, in this moment of clarity, I am angry yet relieved I've come to know of their behaviour sooner rather than later.

I once wrote a piece of script for a 2min film I made about myself in my first year of university, the module was called "self branding" and in this video I wrote a line that I will use now...
"when my friends turn to foes, I shall become the one whom their mother warned them about"

To those reading this, if you feel this relates to you, then it probably does.
To those reading this that feel they're being treated similarly, by me or by anyone else, treat them accordingly.

"I'd rather be hated for something i am, 
than loved for something i am not"

Stay Up

23 June 2010

Do the math?

The motivation for most of my blogs comes from my own life, but sometimes other people’s lives are so much more interesting aren’t they?
This morning, on a beautiful summer morning in London, I was on my Blackberry Messenger talking to a friend of mine about her status, which just so happened to be unrelated to a little dilemma she has going on at the moment.
The dilemma I’m sure a lot of us have faced before, a dilemma with its own pros and cons, and I can kinda relate to it too in more ways than one.

My friend, who shall remain nameless, was telling me about how she met a guy in the city, and he’s everything you expect from a “city boy” he’ “arrogant, loaded, fucking gorgeous and makes me feel like Carrie Bradshaw”
Now I don’t proclaim to be the all-knowing guru when it comes to women, I know my fair share, but what I do know is that all women want to feel like Carrie Bradshaw, right?

Her dilemma begins here because the possibility of getting back together with her ex-boyfriend of 5 years is also on the cards. Her ex-boyfriend who she says is “the guy who knows me better than I know myself” “very safe” and “makes me feel more like Charlotte in SATC”

So here’s the situation she’s in, she’s currently giving the city boy a trial run, see where things go, who knows? But at the same time, there is the lingering possibility of her reigniting something she shared with another person for 5 years of her life.
This is where I got the impetus for this post, the familiar Vs the unknown.
Do you take the well beaten path, the one you know every curve and pebble on, the path which you walked everyday, back and forth for 5 years of your life, blissfully unaware that one day it would end?
Or, do you choose to walk a new path, the road less travelled by many, the road that has surprises in store for you that you might never know unless you take a chance, because we’re all afraid of change sometimes.
I’m a little biased here, I must confess, I am a cheerleader for the unknown, so keep that in mind.

I think, that when it comes to new opportunity, it should always be considered, even though old circumstance still looms. To feel safe and secure is a wonderful thing, it always is, but we all know of pivotal points in our life where we can look back on them and know that THAT was the moment I decided to change my life, that was the moment I decided to truly experience what life is about, finding new ways of living, new ways of expanding your love, your life, your mind.
So what would you do?

I wanna leave you with one of my favourite quotes, I think it applies here:

“if people aren’t multiplying you, they’re dividing you, if they’re not adding to you, they’re subtracting from you – do the math”

Stay Up

16 June 2010

One night in Brussels

so today I'm at work, normal day, I'm a little tired, but it's going alright because there are loads of things to do.
we had one of our maintenance guys come in, who I've never met before, lets call him Pete.

So Pete and i start talking and he's asking me what I studied at university, turns out he used to work for very big ad agencies in London as a copper print/press engineer, for those that don't know, that's how they "photoshopped" ads before computers.
Anyway, Pete starts telling us his life story about how he went to the army and what a great experience it was for him, the man is so intelligent it was almost scary.
But what struck me most was how he left the army after 3 years.

One night him and some colleagues went out in Brussels because that's where they were stationed, he didn't mention the town/city. So he says him and his mates were having a regular lads night out and they met some girls in the bar they were in, but Pete was interested in the waitress, so as the night goes on, he's speaking to her more and more, and after her shift, they all go out clubbing.

2 days after a long weekend just him and her, they're all at the port saying goodbye, when she asks Pete to stay another day, he agrees and tells his commanding officer he's staying another day and will be back the following day...this next part is where i got the motivation for this post.

Pete then tells us, he didn't go back the next day, in fact he didn't go back to the army, 12years later he was married with 2 kids and living in Belgium.
Now if you don't know, it's illegal to leave the army before your tour is over, and also before your 4 years minimum mandatory service is up.

Pete received a court martial when he got caught trying to renew his passport, he got fined £1800 and stripped of his rank and medals he received in the army. Funny thing is, Pete said he wouldn't change anything he did for the world.

Now that's where i thought, "that is how i'm gonna be, "no regrets", because sometimes, you just know that what lies before you, is far more important than what lies ahead of you, and you have to seize the day, as they say.

I think there's a lesson there, that from this short 10minute story that had our whole office captivated (you had to be there) there is always something worth sacrificing the life you live for, I'm not saying it has to be a man or woman, but just something you know deep down, is everything you've always wanted, it might even be right in front of you right now, grab it with both hands, because there is no time like the present.

Pete had so much to tell us and share with us, that we barely even noticed he'd been talking to us for a good hour and a half, all of the guys in my office are under 27, and after he left, all of us took different things away from his stories, but the one thing we all had for Pete was admiration.

which leads me to my status i had on my facebook first thing this morning,

"After i'm dead I'd rather have people ask 
why I have no monument than why I have one."

i think that right there, was meant for people like Pete...a man whom if i never see again, i will always ask why he has no monument.

Pete, a salute from Idontliketea.

Stay Up.