12 January 2010

live life proceed progress.

Today while on the train to Uni for the first time in 2010, as i sat there eating my Soho Club bagel from Bagel Factory, it hit me, this journey has become so mundane and habitual that i no longer look forward to coming to university. Is it the journey, is it that I've been in education for so long that i no longer feel motivated by it, is it my impatience to get going onto the next stage in my life and start building a career?

You know, back when I first started coming to uni, 3 years ago, all seemed new and important, all seemed exciting and i anticipated everyday to be a new discovery. I think as the time has passed by and people have come and gone, the one constant has always been the dreary campus i frequent now, rather than live at, as i did in my first 2 years.

The people here too, something has changed, we've all changed, for the better i believe. But as i now sit here in the library, taking a break from writing my dissertation with Kanye cheering me on, i'm forced to think about whether this is all worth it. I've always been someone who has to change with the times, to adapt to the maze when the cheese is moved.

Lately i've been thinking about who has moved my cheese and why they moved it. Right now i have no idea, i just know everything around me is becoming stale, and a lot of people i know seem to have not noticed that things around us have changed, for better and for worse, but i'm aware of this and i've gotta keep it moving, the cheese has now been taken away from me, i'll find it again, so off i go, on my travels once more, in search of that next thing, that next high, a high provided only by life.

I blogged once about habits and repetition, and how i refused to become one of the drones, seems like i need to take my own advice on this one. As the Jay-Z song goes, it's on to the next one, whatever it may be, if you're not rolling with me, you will be rolled over.

"i am suffocated and lost when i have not the bright feeling of progression"
Margaret Fuller

much love

No comments:

Post a Comment