20 February 2011

There Are No Refunds

Howdy peeps, been a while huh? hope this finds you all in a good place.

OK, so i know it's been a month since my last blog post, but i've been pretty busy, but now i've finally got some time off work and time to write again.

So the other day, i'm having a group discussion with some good people, about a situation that has become more than it should have ever been.
We're all sitting there giving reasons and explanations to why it has transpired this way, why there has been the ultimate sin commited between humans, miscommunication. Throughout the convo, i'm sitting there and listening, absorbing, soaking in all the opinions in the room, because all of the opinions were respected and appreciated.

Then i started thinking about myself, my actions, my re-actions, to things that have arisen, and it hit me, in life there are no refunds, no receipts, no return policies for the decisions we make. And that's where i've realised how accepting i am of that and how other people choose to ignore and disregard that big ass red sign behind the "life decisions" counter that says "NO REFUNDS"

There was a time when i'd torture myself over the thing's i'd said or done, where i'd always want to undo and take back what i said, but then as i've become more self aware and self secure i've realised, that i will never take anything i say or do back, if it is something i meant or something i felt in that moment and it was honest, then please believe i'm not taking anything back to that Life Decisions counter.

I understand that it can be cold, it can be insensitive, and for that i am occasionally apologetic, but to apologise for my actions and for my words is to apologise for me being me and i'll be damned if i ever have to do so for the sake of other people who haven't read the terms and conditions attached to being an adult.

Here's what i'm getting at: In this life or the next, we will all substantiate that what other people feel, or say has NOTHING to do with what we feel or say about us. You know what i mean?

We can all sit there and play the blame game, but don't point the finger at the truth, the truth didn't ask to be blamed, it didn't ask to be made the scapegoat, and the reason it doesn't ask for these things is because the truth knows, that those pointing fingers at it already have three fingers pointing right back at them.

This moment of clarity came directly from that conversation, directly from a situation that has spawned into a beanstalk seemingly overnight, my name is not Jack, and i don't plant magic beans, I'm not responsible for what other people say or do, i am responsible for me, and i will defend my actions 'til the death, because i've stayed true, make sure you do too.

"If you don't like my words, don't listen. 
If you don't like my appearance, don't look. 
If you don't like my actions, turn your head; 
It's as simple as that"

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