Poem "Used To Be"

(One of a few new posts, a quick poem i wrote a long time ago after a bullshit situation i shoulda never got myself into, hope you enjoy)

Every now and then I get the feeling

seeing you again might be appealing. 

Then I realise I'm trippin,

Must be all this rum I'm sippin. 

Whether you were my wifey or my trifey.

I locked you off, rightly...so
Babygirl, you jus had to go.

Don't get caught up on this male

What I sell, isn't for sale

My one feeling...to buy, you failed. 

Coz my store is closed for refurbishment. 

The previous owner was a case of abandonment. 

Metal shutters are up, old mail piles up. 

Fuck all that, there is NO rewind, button. 

Free spirit now, you can't tell me nothin' 

Childish comments you can make,

even seems like you're half baked,  

Living in your life like a movie.

c'mon sweety, if i'd let you, again, you'd do me.

There is not cut and action

Just decisions and reactions

Apparently you can sell fire in hell.

Water to a well

Stop biting jay-z

You couldn't sell freedom in a cell.

Come at me with that dumb shit,

Please believe I don't give a shit 

Your feelings wrists I WILL slit 

Welcome to the part of me I keep in a gravel pit. 

Delete my number, my facebook and my twitter.

No one likes to see someone online and bitter.

i realise the irony in what i just said, 

like you realise the iron in you,

from giving me head.

Accept the fact you aren't for me, 

You'll never be a product of this satisfactory factory.

there is no time to make a bragain and plea

you just blew the once chance i gave you, with me.

Stay Up

Winning

So, i've been away from here for a while, who knows why, i always say i'ma be blogging more, or more often, but then this thing called life gets in the way and fucks up my rotation, apologies for that.

Today i'ma speak on couple of things, so just stick with me on this one.

I've been thinking more and more about this Charlie Sheen circus that the media seems to be feasting off of.

But, the more i watch it, and the more i see his interviews, the more i think to myself "what's the big deal, just let the man live." And then i had my moment of clarity while reading comments on youtube about his behaviour in the interview, and this moment of enlightenment kinda related to something i read once:

"if you don't accept their money, they can't tell you what to do"

Now obviously this does refer to money as an actual, tangible thing, that if someone gives you, they feel this power or this "right" that because they've given you something financially valuable, they can tell you where to go, what time to be there and what the consequences are if you don't go.

But then i started thinking about the broader meaning of the quote, like if someone you know gives you something, something that helps you in your life, they then start to behave as if you now owe them something, and if you cannot pay them back in some sort of way then you should do with that thing what they say you should, and i have two words for this kind of thing "fuck that"

As someone who's had a job since he was old enough to have one, having my own things and spending my money the way i want to has always been something i've taken pride in. Of course my job telling me what to do AT work is fine, but i'll be damned if an individual person who doesn't put food on my table can tell me what to do with my life.

Going back to Charlie Sheen real quick, the reason i think what he's doing isn't as bad as the Picasso's in the media would have you think, is because the man isn't doing what CBS wants him to do, he's saying "fuck you, fuck your show, fuck your money, how i live has nothing to do with you, i get shit done at work, the moment i walk out of those doors, you are no longer in control" and i totally agree with that, i understand what it feels like to be almost imprisoned or trapped by your employer, where because you rely on their money to live, you allow them to take the absolute piss out of your life....until you decide you've had enough, sadly CBS seems to think Charlie hasn't had enough and he still owe's them.

Dave Chappelle walked away from his show, from $50million, from the fame, from the control which Comedy Central wanted to have over him, and he personifies that quote up there, but yet, people still think he has the problem, watch this video and this video and tell me who has the bigger problem, Dave, or the people who think he's insane.

We all have a choice, to be who we want to be, not what someone paying us wants us to be, the only difference is some people have the courage to choose themselves over their bank balance, to choose their life over colouring within the lines society has indoctrinated in us since childhood.

I'm not tryna tell anyone reading this to quit their job and go and live in a hut in the forest, because i understand we all have responsibilities, all i'm saying is try to maintain your life and the power to live it your way. Do what you do, love what you do, as long as you do you.

"i always get in trouble for being honest"

- Charlie Sheen

There Are No Refunds

Howdy peeps, been a while huh? hope this finds you all in a good place.

OK, so i know it's been a month since my last blog post, but i've been pretty busy, but now i've finally got some time off work and time to write again.

So the other day, i'm having a group discussion with some good people, about a situation that has become more than it should have ever been.

We're all sitting there giving reasons and explanations to why it has transpired this way, why there has been the ultimate sin commited between humans, miscommunication. Throughout the convo, i'm sitting there and listening, absorbing, soaking in all the opinions in the room, because all of the opinions were respected and appreciated.

Then i started thinking about myself, my actions, my re-actions, to things that have arisen, and it hit me, in life there are no refunds, no receipts, no return policies for the decisions we make. And that's where i've realised how accepting i am of that and how other people choose to ignore and disregard that big ass red sign behind the "life decisions" counter that says "NO REFUNDS"

There was a time when i'd torture myself over the thing's i'd said or done, where i'd always want to undo and take back what i said, but then as i've become more self aware and self secure i've realised, that i will never take anything i say or do back, if it is something i meant or something i felt in that moment and it was honest, then please believe i'm not taking anything back to that Life Decisions counter.

I understand that it can be cold, it can be insensitive, and for that i am occasionally apologetic, but to apologise for my actions and for my words is to apologise for me being me and i'll be damned if i ever have to do so for the sake of other people who haven't read the terms and conditions attached to being an adult.

Here's what i'm getting at: In this life or the next, we will all substantiate that what other people feel, or say has NOTHING to do with what we feel or say about us. You know what i mean?

We can all sit there and play the blame game, but don't point the finger at the truth, the truth didn't ask to be blamed, it didn't ask to be made the scapegoat, and the reason it doesn't ask for these things is because the truth knows, that those pointing fingers at it already have three fingers pointing right back at them.

This moment of clarity came directly from that conversation, directly from a situation that has spawned into a beanstalk seemingly overnight, my name is not Jack, and i don't plant magic beans, I'm not responsible for what other people say or do, i am responsible for me, and i will defend my actions 'til the death, because i've stayed true, make sure you do too.

"If you don't like my words, don't listen. 

If you don't like my appearance, don't look. 

If you don't like my actions, turn your head; 

It's as simple as that"

Stay Up

Thank You Please

Ok, so the other day i'm having a BB convo with a friend of mine, and she's telling me about this client she's working with, who's manners, or lack there of, are appalling. 

This got me thinking about our society, our culture, our sub-cultures even, the little microcosms within our lives that represent, what to us, is the majority. How do we treat one another and how much we've lost along the way?

As always i speak from my own experiences, so what i'm about to write represents me, and what MY ideal of respect and manners should be, so take from this blog post what you will.

Growing up with two sisters (one older, one younger) respect was always a priority in my household, growing up in Africa, a "please" and a "thank you" were already expected of you, of your family and of anyone you met in your daily life, it was so deeply routed in my culture, that anything contrary to that was alien to me.

Then i moved to the UK, and it was literally like visiting a new planet, where the natives spoke the same language as me, but seemingly, didn't understand how to communicate that language accordingly, respect and manners were lacking.

What has crept into our society though, is the slow, terminal, avoidable, illness that chivalry has contracted over time. Almost like a smoker who thinks they'll never get lung cancer, coz "that just won't happen to me". 

When did it become okay for guys to speak to girls the way they do? I see young teens now, and they say "oi lighty*, what you sayin" and it's like, is this the representation of manhood that our young teenage girls have to look forward to? whatever happened to "excuse me, my name is......and i noticed you and thought i'd come and introduce myself" instead of "so can man get your bb pin then?"

Let me break it down for those of you hard of understanding. The treatment you receive from others, is only given to you because you accept it, have a standard, and if a guy, or a girl, does not meet your criteria or that standard, then they are not worthy of your attention, simple. 

And if you allow them to call you "oi" or "lighty" then as someone once told me, "if you do not listen, you must feel" is what will happen, and that you will.

So you can take that to the bank and tell them Mike sent you.

Another thing, when did it become ok for girls to speak to their mothers the way they do? I cannot envision a scenario when raising my voice above my mother's will/has occured, when (even if i'm right) i will disrespect her, whether privately or publicly, because i know, she will not stand for it, ever. Like i mentioned in the previous paragraph, she has a standard, and i am expected for the rest of my mortal life, to maintain that standard, not only towards her, but to every woman i meet. I open doors for women, i say please and thank you for every and anything i ask for, or receive, i will offer to carry a woman's shopping bags for her, whilst also understanding the independence a woman has, but regardless of who she is, reverence and respect will be given, no question about it, and sadly, these things are foreign to guys who are only 5 years younger than me. Has our generation lost that much in the time it takes for a rapper to be famous and then not so famous anymore....hi Ja Rule.

Ok seriously.....what i'm getting at is this...being polite and respectful to anyone, especially strangers, goes a long, long way. Regardless of who they are or where they come from, it is always nice to be nice, because you never know, that man or that woman you're speaking to may change the course of your life. Whenever we meet someone new, on a personal level, our paths have crossed for a certain reason and if it so happens that that reason results in love or hate, in the end, what you will have left is pride, that we maintained our standards, and a lesson learned.

I understand i'm not perfect and sometimes i falter at some of the things i just wrote, but i try, and will continue to do so until i don't have to write a blog about it anymore.

"It is more important to be righteous, than be right" - Lauryn Noel Hill

so what do y'all think, where did we lose our way? Have we lost our way? What are your prerequisites for others and the way they speak to or treat you?

Stay Up

What Men Want (pt 2)

So back in November i wrote about What Men Want and it got a good reaction from readers and bloggers alike.

Today i want to conclude what i should have done a month ago (procrastination, like cocaine, is a helluva drug) lol, so i'm gonna get into this, tell me if you feel me.

What Men Want pt.2

Sex

Any man who says this is not an important factor or need to satisfying him and his needs, is a liar, and if he's lying about that, then what else is he lying to you about?

As humans, not just men, we have an everlasting, innate desire to pro-create. Just so happens that as man has evolved and the world of sex has gone through it's own metamorphosis, so have we as males.

Men want not just sex from a woman they want to be with/are already with. They want to pushed to the boundaries of sexual desire, to please you and to be pleased. Tell us what you're into, this is what we want, and any real man will know, that if you make her happy sexually, you will harvest the benefits. Ladies, the saying "if you ain't doing your man right, he knows someone else that will" is around for a reason. Now i'm not saying do ANYTHING your man wants, although i'm not not saying it either, all i'm saying is pay attention to his physical desires, as a young philosopher once said:

"you be my nympho i'll be your nympho" simple, but effective, not to mention, absolutely true.

Respect.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what that means to US.

I have witnessed so many relationships fail due to lack of respect, a mutual lack of respect even.

Respect isn't something that you can just dish out all willy nilly, it is a privilege. Ladies, the quickest way to get your man to become that dude you warn all your girls about, is to become disrespectful to him, the life he chooses to live and his mama.

There is a simple mantra to take note of with us men, Give Respect, Gain Respect, like i said in the last post, we are simple, and we desire simple things.. The respect superhighway is but a mere millisecond away from a pile up on the M25 that backs you up for eight junctions. We want our woman to respect us, not fear us, there is a difference where some "wastemen" think that if your girl fears you, she respects you, there isn't enough cyber ink in my cyber pen to explain how wrong that is. So just remember, your man wants to be respected as a person, just as you do.

Give it, Gain it, Share it, Love it, Be it.

Support

Ok, this one right here is a deal breaker if ever i've known one. As a man, there is nothing more undeniably alluring to us, than when your girl supports what you do. If she know's your heart is in the right place, and it's for the benefit of you and her, that support will carry over and is immeasurable.

Ladies, regardless of what your man does, of what his profession is, support him. The absolute last thing any of us wants, is to come home and have you bitching about how "we ain't shit." Lemme tell you something, the more you tell your main he ain't shit, the more he'll start looking for someone else to prove that YOU ain't shit, and as the line goes, there is always someone out there waiting to ask your man "can i upgrade you", then you'll be alone, and single, and crying on your bed, tear soaked pillows, for your "ain't shit" man...help your man build the foundations of the house you wish to share with him. Don't give him a sledge-hammer to destroy them.

Me Time

Ladies, you ever come home and your man is on that damn X-Box that you hate so much, he's fully engrossed in Black Ops, or FIFA or whatever you think he loves more than you? I'ma let you in on something here, the reason he loves those things, is because those things AREN'T you. 

Let me explain. to us, you are everything, the beginning and the end, Alpha and Omega, but what you aren't is a distraction and an outlet to stress. No real man will take his frustrations out on his girl, because if she's doing the aforementioned three things right, he'll have more sense than that. That's what "our time" is for, to just get away for an hour, maybe two, from the bullshit and the drama of everyday life that doesn't include you, so give him his time.

Again, it may seem ridiculous to want to play a video game with a stranger online, who's halfway around the world, but again, we're simple, and we desire simple things. give him his space every now and then.

Your Friends

This one isn't so much what we want, but it;s something we damn sure take a keen interest in. Who do you hang out with on the regular? Who's your best friend? Do you have any guy friends, and if so, how long have you known them, is there a history, and does he have a girlfriend?? For real, coz i tell you what, and this may hurt you sensitive types out there, some guys are not your friends, they're hangers-on, waiting for you to give them an opportunity to have sex with you, and i know some of y'all reading this are thinking "no way, not Kenny, he's so sweet" yea, him too, in fact, Kenny is the worst one.

Anyway, i digress...watch the company you keep, because a man notices these things, i personally look at who a girl surrounds herself with, because birds of a feather do flock together, regardless of how much you think you're different from your friends, there's a reason you're friends, and those reasons are your similarities.

If a sheep is part of a flock, it is not exempt from being eaten by the wolves, in other words, you are who you are seen with. sad but true.   

ok, that was a long post and my first one of 2011, i can feel my inner Dr Phil rejoicing inside as i type this. No for real, this is just my opinion on men, i'm one of them, so i should know. I can't give my opinion on women, because i haven't got a clue what you crazy ladies want.

More posts coming soon, i'm just a bit swamped at the moment.

"It's the simple things in life we forget"

as always, Stay Up

(for my new readers, here is why i write "Stay Up" as my sign off)

(guest post) Dear Shopping..I Love You, But I Hate You

life is all about change and growth, and here at idontliketea we're all about the latter and obsess over the former, so for the next week or two, we'll be having a few guest bloggers coming through, their views are strong, their topics varied, their views are independent and individual and that's what we love most, the idisyncrasy of them all (the blogs) so please show some love to the guests of idontliketea. This week we have the lovely PurpleRamblings check out her blog here.

Ahem *Clears throat, stands up* 

I am PurpleRamblings and I am a shopaholic... 

*throws arms up in the air* I LOVE SHOPPING!! 

I LOVE new purchases, fresh from their packaging. Fabulous, gleaming, skyscraper heels with that new shoe smell, perfume squeaking from it's packaging that has to be pumped a multitude of times before it'll release it's fabulous scent, rainbow colours of nail varnish waiting to take their place on the dressing table, trainers bought for visits to a gym that is never visited, coats for all occasions, short and long and padded and tight and cropped and double-breasted and leather and cotton and denim, skirts and shorts and t-shirts and hundreds and thousands of pairs of socks, which are quickly unpaired and thrown into the vat of mismatched sockness with which I like to cocoon myself. That warm, pit of the stomach happiness I experience walking around the house in a new pair of heels is second to none. Having mini-me was cool and that, but it was truly a once in a lifetime experience. The new shoe experience can literally last forever.

I like to buy things, various accoutroumental items that give me that warm "I spent money and got something new that I didn't need" feeling.

The only thing... Is that I HATE GOING TO THE SHOPS!! Absolutely loathe it, from the bottom of my warm fuzzy over shopped heart. Contradictory I know. But hear me out...

The buzz I get from the purchase of goods, cos I know that's exactly what it is, an empty buzzy feeling of fulfillment associated with the purchase of goods, is ruined… By people!

People that are everywhere!

People… Stepping on my toes. People… In front of me when I want to pay. People… In front of me when I want to try things on. People… Taking the last one in my size. People… Hovering over, in front of, behind me when I'm looking at something. People… Bashing my knees with their own empty purchases. People… Just there! Everywhere I turn! RUINING MY SHOPPING! Add to that the fact that they move things from rack to rack, aisle to aisle, so the size you want all though in the store is unlocatable because some thoughtless person has moved it! PEOPLE RUIN SHOPPING FOR ME!! I have on occasion walked past a shop, seen something fabulous in the window and gone in, only to u-turn when I see the ant-like swarms descending on the items. Saturday shopping is something that I NEVER DO and don’t even get me started on such occasions as “January sales” events like this are my kryptonite and will have me running for the hills credit cards in tow.

Contradictory I know considering the scale of the love of shopping, but I’ve found a way round it… Online shopping! The people free equivalent. Where I get to remain in the confines of my boudoir, wine glass in hand, MacBook at the ready to have a leisurely “stroll” through the online archives. No one standing on my toes, no queuing, no bashed knees, just cosy shopping bliss. Where I can be so specific with my search that “red, knee length, backless, sequined, pencil, dress” is easier to find then tinsel at Christmas. And is there anything better then your goods being hand delivered to your door... I think not.

World Wide Web I bow to thee xx

Teyalilly.com

Bonjour people, first post of December, which seems a bit weird considering i had five posts in November. Anywhoo, I'm here today to do a little light infotainment with this post, i'm gonna introduce those who haven't already, to Teyalilly.com

Teyalilly is an online greeting card emporium run by a friend of mine, with the cutest daughter you're ever likely to see, who also happens to be the impetus/personification of Teyalilly. 

Born from the undying desire for more variety, more choice, and a piece of Art commissioned for my friend's daughters bedroom, it evolved into more than just a painting on a wall, it sparked the inspiration for the Teyalilly project.

I've been blessed to witness this metamorphosis of Teyalilly, from when it was but an idea, to seeing the Teyalilly website count down the days until launch, to having a sneak peak at the cards before most people got to see them and lastly watching my friend work her bum off to make this dream happen.

And that right there, i feel, is in a microcosm, a testament not just to Teyalilly but to my friend too. 

I personally love the cards, every single one of them, the design, colours and message on each card is what stands out for me. As we're coming up to probably the busiest time of year for a lot of us, where sometimes we may not have the time to go out and physically buy cards for our loved one's, Teyalilly.com is the place to be in 2010 for all your Christmas card needs. Not forgetting above and beyond 2011.

I know me writing this seems like shameless promotion, and it is, because i believe in this project, i believe in my friend's ability to be self made, in the potential in Teyalilly to be

I try not to promote anything commercial on this blog, no adverts, not pop ups, just pure education/information/entertainment, but i feel my readers deserve to have a Teyalilly Christmas, to have a Teyalilly Valentines, to have  a Teyalilly Birthday, you know what, just to HAVE Teyalilly, because when the bandwagon pulls up outside your front door, i'm gonna be driving it, and i'll be the one saying "i told you so."

So have a gander at the website and follow her on twitter, spoil your loved one's this Holiday Season and give them something they won't get from someone else, a Teyalilly card.

visit www.teyalilly.com

follow: Teyalilly Twitter @TeyaLilly

Stay Up