25 August 2009

takes time, but i'll get there.

Haven't been here for a while now, dunno why, been feeling a little funny of late, who knows?
anyway, had my birthday a few weeks ago, nothing special, the older you get, the more insignificant it becomes to you and the people around you, unfortunately, that is the way of the world.

This got me thinking about growth , and what it means to me and to other people.
To be honest, i'm still a little stumped.

We all have out own little reasons for doing some of the things we do, other things are just inate and we have no true reason for these things. Like being attracted to somone you like, or likeing a certain colour, sure, we have all the obvious reasons, and we base those on time spent with someone, or something, and with these experiences, we grow...or we're supposed to.

My growth at uni has seen me , make some good friends, make some new friends, make some new enemies even. It's all part of the process, suffice to say, i've enjoyed every moment of it.
my growth in life over the last say 3 years has been crazy. I can say, without doubt, i'v learned more about the word and myself in this time than at any other juncture in my time here on Earth.

i've learnt about love, about hate, about joy and about pain. But none of these things do i regret. And i think thats the main thing here, the not regretting anything, because i can hold my head up and know, that through all of those things, i gave my all, i said and did everything i could, through the love, i expressed myself in different and new ways, i was scared, but hey, who isn't with new things, met new people but re-visited old souls, "i may have known you for 6 months, but our souls met lifetimes ago", through the hate, i knocked the haters back, didn't let the hate phase me, and kept moving, through the joy, i shared it wth my friends and family and we will always have those memories, through the pain, i endured it on my own, i'm not one to share my pain, i just think i should deal with it on my own way, yea i talk about it with my best friends, but ultimately, only i feel how hard it is was to wake up every morning and not sleep at night because of it.

ok this is getting kinda soppy, but as always, what i'm getting at is this, we all grow in different ways, we all have our own paths to walk, no matter how bumpy the ride may be, the one thing i've grown to become is reflective, to look back on th things i've experienced and learn from them, and to try and keep at the good things that make me happy, and to kick out the not so good things that make me unhappy and to not make the same mistakes again, because there is nothing worse than making the same mistakes over and over again.

so the next time you're hurting, or laughing, or simply bored at work, playing with the brightness on your computer screen, just remember, it's all part of the process baby, slow it may seem at times, just walk at your pace, it's the only way you know how.

much love.

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