25 August 2009
It's weird but there are moments in life, that you'll find will either define you or remind you. I think it's safe to say, today, something happened to me that defined and reminded me.
It has to do with a girl, obviously, a very special girl at that, but, me and this very special girl will no longer be, recent events have reminded me, that giving someone all of you, is the hardest and scariest thing i have ever done, but, it also defined me. It reinforced my former beliefs that people have to earn the right to learn certain things about me, and i can't just give it up so easily.
Time stood still for us, to share a small part of our lives with eachother, but time waits for no-one. I, as most people who know me know, cannot live making the same mistakes over and over again, i guess she can, and i guess that where we differ. Life will be lived by both of us and we will enjoy our lives and prosper, but we will not be living them side by side anymore
Something else happened to me today too, ok let me explain.
Growing up in a foreign country, I learned and experienced things that every child does. Moving to England I experienced things that not everyone would, but, from my time here, i have become the person i look at everyday in the mirror.
Today i met people from my childhood, grown adults, people who i have not seen for years, who left our home country probably before i did, but yet, there is no progression. It's not ever a bad thing to remember where you come from, and it's never a bad thing to reminisce about those days, what is a bad thing, is trying to hold on to something that has passed, and that will never be, ever again. We all live at different paces, and that's fair and fine, but it's very difficult, for me at least, to go and be with these people anymore, and live at their pace.
I just think, my life, and their lives are very different. I happen to know alot of said people personally, and a few, not many, i know who they truely are, and i know that conformity means more to them than individuality, I don't know if that says alot more about me than them to be honest.
So, today, i have to say goodbye to that life, i won't ever forget it, but i do know i'm done with it, i love some of the people and will always maintain my friendship with them, but other than that, we shall remain from the same country but not the same people.
This blog is almost turning into a confessional of sorts.........................i like it.
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves"
Posted by MLF