I'm an angry man...sometimes.

hey people, of late i haven't been feeling myself so no conclusions to anything, alot of stuff just hanging in the air, so no real blog material for you unfortunately, so i thought i'd entertain you with an email rant i sent out to friends and family a few months ago.
and also, my poor attempt at writing for the London Paper, which sadly didn't get published, when you read it you'll know why...here goes.

THE RANT

"today is just a general hatred for a list of things that have come to my attention recently..
the other day i was eating a pie, and this fool walks up to me and goes "is that nice" No, you donut, i always stuff my face with food that tastes like toilet paper,,
people at bus stops who ask you "has the bus come yet" if it did come i wouldn't be fucking standing here now would i?

old people, really really old people, you know the ones i mean, the slow walkers, the confused, the ones who turn just stop in the middle of rush hour on oxford circus, the ones who think if you're under 25 you're a gun toting, knife wielding asbo, the ones who spark up conversation about the weather, and how "oh it hasn't snowed for a while" yes bitch, but the frozen ear juice you have trickling out tells me otherwise. i know they haven't got much time left, but c'mon, other people have places to go, ok fine, if they MUST come out, can we at least give them their own lane to walk in or something, coz sometimes (and i know this may sound cruel) i just wanna stab them with my best pencils, slow ass, zimmerframe walking, sandal wearing, weird shopping trolly thingy having old people.one day i shall be one too and one day i shall write/narrate to a more able person, how much i hate young people.....

Political Correctness Police,,,,you can't say black coffee, black magic, black ball, black haed, baa baa fucking black sheep, you can't oppose islam or they're gonna riot like its 1992 and rodney king just got his ass beat, you can't say nigga, its "the n word", its sexually non-preferential not bi-sexual, big boned, plus size, differently sized, i'm sorry thats just fat, you can't even say prisoner anymore, its client of the correctional system, fuck right off..
if i want my black coffee, from Ali the muslim who works at blacks books, where i read baa baa black sheep, squeezed a black head, while hollering at my nigga, whose girlfried just told him she's bi-sexual, but its ok because she's fat, and i want to point and laugh at prisoner then i damn. well. will."

LONDON PAPER ATTEMPT

"Glasto Fiasco"

"If, like me, you were watching the Oasis vs Jay-z (hip-hop) saga with interest over the last few weeks, by now you have picked a side. I, for one, have, and I’m with Brooklyn’s finest.Noel needs to get off his “I can’t believe its not 1995” horse and start to realise what he and many of his supporters are sadly contradicting themselves over and over. Glasto “is for rock ‘n roll” so I was told this week, please correct if I’m wrong, last time I checked Amy Crackhouse is NOT rock, please explain to me why she gets a free pas and Jay-z does not, please explain why the crowd nearly had a cerebral haematoma when Jay-z did “encore”, and the answer that Amy is “real music” does not suffice, if you bothered to listen top Jay-Z’s lyrics and the intellect that is behind some, not all, of his songs then you’d know what Mr Eaves and the rest of the world know, the man has talent.

Noel should take a good look at his own lyrics“Backbeat the word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out”and sit up and realise that the world of music is changing, and that it shouldn’t and doesn’t matter what kind of music someone makes, if they’re good at it, why can’t they play to a deserving audience? For the record, Galsto is not an exclusively rock 'n' roll festival, Coldplay anyone.

I sincerely hope Noel and his fans read this, because I love wonderwall, but I love Dirt off your Shoulder too, Noel, no hard feelings playa, but please understand, that no-one feels the way I feel about you now."

hope you enjoyed those, i have my angry moments, as we all do.

much love