commenting

hey people

had a few complaints that visitors can't comment..

if you click on the blog title..ie "the greatest myth" then you can comment on the page at the bottom.

or if there aren't any comments click "O COMMENTS" at the bottom of the blog post and be the first. :o)


much love

the greatest myth

Recently i was on facebook, and came across a friend Alison's status that provided me with the inspiration for this blog. The status read:

"would like the ladies to know you are neither "too much" or "not enough" , but fine just the way you are.. Don't believe the hype!"

And this got me thinking about the women i have met, whether it was my first kiss or my most recent, well, you know....I've had my perceptions of them, and me being me, i've expressed my opinions to them, without ever really thinking about how it would affect them, and the way they'd perceive themselves after that.

I feel that women today, especially those my age, are in a state of limbo with us guys.

Let me explain, as the status says, you are neither too much or not enough, us guys tend to forget that not everyone is perfect and that the little flaws that our prospective partner possesses are what make her.

These are the fibers of her character, that we should have and hold, appreciate and accentuate every time we see her, because believe me, when it all comes crashing down, it's these little idiosyncrasies that we will miss, that we will tell our friends about, if you've ever been in love and things didn't work out for whatever reason, tell me you've never said this "oh man, i used to love the way she'd burp like a trooper" or whatever weird little thing she did that you loved.

This is my point, girls need not seek approval from us, they need not have to be made to feel that who they are is inferior to who we are. We are men, God knows we have enough pitfalls of our own, so why knock her for what she is, for what you walked across a crowded room for, for what one day, hopefully, you'll get to tell people that these are the exact reasons you fell in love with her.

i know me writing this is kind of a contradiction, as my track record with women isn't the most comfortable for some, but no-one's perfect, i'm not perfect, but i'm working on it, at a point in my life i subscribed to the playa lifestyle, fortunately for me i've learned my lesson, unfortunately for some of the guys i know, they haven't, they still live in never never land, where nobody wants to grow old, where nobody realises that at some point, it's not always about them.

For any women reading this who feel that they're not understood by their boyfriend/partner/hook up, whatever, just remember that it's ok if you are not is tune with every other girl out there, that you hear your own drummer, that you should step to your own beat, no matter how measured or far away....for you are enough, just the way you are..you are not too much or not enough, you're everything we want, you're everything we need, you're evrything inside we wish that we could be.

songs for you truths for me

Vertical Horizon - Everything you want

Lyfe Jennings - Never Never Land

much love

life's subscriptions

normally i find it a bit of achallenge to find inspiration for this blog, hence why my life is my inspiration for it, yesterday something happened that sparked the idea fr this blog.

Yesterday I was witness to some, for lack of better word, bullshit.

And as always, what happens in my life got me thinking about things..certain things, and the effect our beliefs have on us, whether religiously, morally, socially and to a more recent degree, economically.

Here's the thing, the thing I witnessed is someone sacrificing something important in their life because they "believe" what they're doing is the right thing and that they're better off without someone else in their life.

In terms of how they went about it, let's just say there are more direct ways of dealing with things.

The issue I take with this is thus, what we subscribe to, we eventually succumb to. Whether the outcome has a positive or negativre effect on us, only time will tell, ok let me give you some examples:

MLK, he subscribed to equality for black people, for minorities, that one day America could come together as one, unsegregated nation, he was assasinated for what he was fighting for, what you subscribe to, you succumb to.

Jade Goody, a true product of the reality show celebrity, a fiend of fame, someone who, in my opinion, payed the ultimate price for her want of being famous. Ok fine, cancer isn't her fault, but the debacle that lead to her death and funeral was such a farce, if she didn't crave fame and fortune, would her death be any more significant than your neighbour with cancer? What you subscribe to, you succumb to.

A more recent, globally recognised problem is the collapse of our economies, greed and ambition changed our world and our lives immeasurably, the belief in the investment banking system, the belief that people could pay back what they owed, the belief that everyone with a loan or mortgage would stay true to their word, and suffice to say, that didn't happen did it, this trust in the "system" lead to our downfall on a global scale. what you subscribe to, you succumb to.

Those are three extremely different axamples, but all apply to what I witnessed, if in life you don't at least have an open mind about certain things, and certain people, eventually you will fall prey to that or them, I'm not saying don't trust anything, I'm saying don't be so blind to the obvious truths about them simply because what governs you says different, what governs you does not control you, it simply sets the rules, and rules are made to be broken

"what you subscribe to, you eventually succumb to"

much love.

what of silence?

i was at a friends birthday party recently, a house party, and like all house parties, you end up in one of two places, dancing in the living room or in a group discussion in the kitchen or hallway.

I found myself doin the latter, not in the dancing mood that day, mainly because of external personal factors, i opted for the hallway discussion.

Standing there, talking to some good people, we meandered into various topics, ultimately the topic ended up being on love and the loss of it etc etc.

I found myself just standing there, listening to the alternate views people have on certain things, i also found myself realising that i'm a quite an introvert.

I know i'm a very opinionated person, i know i have strong views on certain topics, but i also know that sometimes saying nothing is better than just saying anything.

Anyway, i was reminded again this past weekend about my relationship with words and the nature in which i speak or write. This fueled the idea for this blog, i reflected on that house party and just thought about how it is i am able to come out with the things i say and the things i write, I beleieve my silence is my way of filtering out all the superfluous babble that we all at one time or another spout.

My way with words is something that i get from you, the people i speak to, that this gift God has given me is aided by you, the ability to speak when necessary, i think, is something i'm blessed with. I'm reading a book about Mother Theresa at the moment, and there's an extract from it i wanna share with you, hopefully you'll understand why "Peace cannot be found in noise and restlessness. Peace is the friend of silence. See how nature grows in silence, see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls."

That last bit is what i take from that, "we need silence to be able to touch souls", i find joy in m silence, and hopefully with some luck, with some hard work and with some silence, i'll be able to do just that through my work, through my words, through copywriting....indeed silence is golden

much love

different together

things have changed rapidly in my life in the last few months/weeks the highs and the lows, everything seeming like it was custom made to either anger me, frustrate me or please me, and i rolled with the punches and enjoyed and am still enjoying them.

but you know how they say the only way to truly see things for what they are is to see it in the 3rd person, i've been trying that lately, to remove myself from things and then look at them from someone elses POV, we were taught last year to think outside of the box when faced with a brief, to look at something for what it is, in it's basic form, and then to step away from it and look at the brief in two other ways, for what it could mean, the subliminal and metaphorical, and then to see something for what it is not, and try and relate what it isn't to the brief...to see the honesty in things.

how does that relate to what i'm talking about, well here's the thing, when faced with new challenges, sometimes we don't know how to deal with them, because we think there is no other way of dealing with the problem than to deal with it in the same way we have before, that's the way we as humans do things, habitually, but for a second, just think about what it is that you're not doing, try and envisage an alternative way to facing life's little tests.

I've been trying this lately, and instead of reacting in my usual impatient and hasty way, i've been trying to look at things in a different light, to perceive them differently, and suffice to say, i think i've handled things a lot better than i wold have in the past, whether these problems have been at work, at uni or in my personal life, some things just need to be treated differently in order for a better result to occur.

Dave Trott came down to our uni last week for a seminar, and i valued everything he said, took in the things that appealed to me and took in the things that didn't, because who knows, one day they might.

The one thing i did take on board was "be different, not better"...and that's what i'm trying to say in this blog, just try and be different in your approach, not better, coz if we don't at least try different things, we're stagnant, and boring and the same as everyone else with their shallow perception of life, of themselves, of you.

think different, be different, it's what keeps you grounded, i read today that "what belongs together is now growing together", thinking about that too, people who are different naturally gravitate to eachother and forge bonds that will last longer than expected, i'd like to remix that quote and say that "what's different together, lasts forever"....funny thing perception.

much love.

Real Men Don't Eat Quiche...

I spoke to Brian the other day and while discussing life and his plans to become PM and my appointment as Home Secretary (it could happen), we digressed on to things that grind our gears, stuff that really makes my piss boil, and I realised that there is a lifestyle, that men have been parading around and perpetuating for about a decade now, Metrosexuality.

Now i'm all for living your life the way you see fit, so this is simply my opinion and if you're offended by that, then you can always click that little X at the top of your window and leave the blogosphere. Actually, don't leave, stay, read on, challenge my notions, let's talk about this.

A little while ago, i had my legs waxed, that's right, WAXED, like a woman has hers waxed, it hurt to a degree, but it wasn't as bad as people (women) were making it out to be, it was aa money raising thing, not a vanity thing. How does this relate to my blog today, well, since you asked, after said waxing i was advised that i needed to moisturise and exfoliate my legs as to prevent in-growing hairs...fuck that, i'm a man, there is no way on God's green earth am I exfoliating anything, i'll put lotion on my legs to keep them from looking like i just kicked a bag of flour, but that's pretty much it.

You see my daily routine is thus, shower, no fancy shower gels or anything like that, just regular soap and water, get out of the shower, air dry, brush teeth, lotion body, nothing fancy, dove lotion if you must know, which i use for my face too, pick clothes, boxers, tank top, jeans, t-shirt, trainers, jacket, brush hair, deodorant, cologne and i'm good, all done in 20mins max...to me that's more than enough time to look decent enough to leave my house feeling good

But what the hell have men adopted these days, a "grooming regime" as i heard the other day.

All these fancy facial scrubs and face creams, and exfoliating gloves, having a back, sack and crack for Pete's sake, who does that? There is only one instance where i feel men are allowed to don make-up, if you are famous and on television, other than that, you have no business going in to Mac and asking the assistant which foundation to use coz your current one is blocking your pores.

Men going into taning salons and having their hair cut at Toni&Guy, no no no, my good people, go to a barber, £7, not this £40 for a cut and dry malarky, and don't even get me started on skinny jeans, men walking around with half their arse hanging out, damn it i can see your balls through those jeans, get some proper fitted jeans man, put down the man-bag, what do you need that for, you have a wallet and pockets, ..which man in their right mind thinks it's ok to have hand cream available, with their anti-septic gel and all other types of ungodly things on them at all times...?

But you know what, it's also our fault, not just the media, we allow this as a society, we're trying so hard to be politically correct that no-one wants to pipe up and denounce this behaviour, well the time has come.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears, let us band together and save the man, save what is left of us, those of us that like to talk loud, swear, spit, drink beer and grow facial hair, beep at the beautiful woman in the Baby Phat denims, spend our Saturday and Sunday afternoons watching football, playing Sunday league and coming home battered and bruised and being proud of our battle scars on Monday morning, not hide them with foundation. Brag about our sexual conquests to our friends, take one for the team, pull the ugly fat friend, no-one cares, so i say to you, real men of the World, with one hand grabbing my balls and one on my beer, join me in reviving the Indigenous men of planet Earth.

rant over.

much love.

luvanmusic

I realised the other day that i've been neglecting idontliketea a bit, mainly coz of the pile of work i have to do at uni, not including doing my dissertation, while juggling my part-time job and playing football in my attempt to get fit and healthy again.

whats been happening, i've recently got my first ever Blackberry, yes i know, bandwagon etc etc. But anyway, i gotta say, i love this damn thing, i'm actually writing this blog from my blackberry, or crackberry as a good friend of mine so eloquently put it..

So like on every phone there are your usual pre-loaded ringtones and videos courtesy of your phone manufacturer, funnily, on the blackberry some of these are John Mayer samples, kudos to Columbia and Sony for the genius bit of marketing and PR.

Coincidentally though, my friend Lauren has recently become, a bit....uhm...for lack of better word, besotted with the talented Mr Mayer, she freakin' loves him, and i mean LOVES him, almost as much as her lecturer for contextual studies, lol (sorry)

All of her love/obsession for Mayer got me wondering about music and what it means to people, what it means to me and the profound impact it has on us as a society

Music for me is everything, i spend hours upon hours listening to my iPod or trawling the internet just searching for my next fix of new music, a new song, a new artist, a new genre, anything for me to downloa....uhm, buy, i mean buy, all in the name of my love for music.

It's weird that billions of people can enjoy the same music, crossing cultural and ethnic barriers, music brings people together uinlike anything else i've witnessed, music can have a woman in Japan, singing word for word every lyric of Blur's "song 2" and not have a damn clue what she's saying, she just knows that when she hears that song, nothing else in the world matters, the excitement of hearing the melody, the beat, the excitement she gets cannot be topped, and yet, she shares this feeling with billions of other people, some who'll even chastise her for listening to Blur, but when they put on their Manson or Jay-Z they exude that exact same feeling.

And then what about what it makes you think, and what it makes you do, have you ever stood back and just thought about how obscure the act of dancing is, if you take the music away and just watch people, you'd think they were on something, well, most of them are, but that's not the point.

The point is that to me, music is what feelings would sound like, it's an expression of the soul, for people globally to some together and be as one, think about it, we all have our own particular sorrows, loves and delights. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their enitery.

i have something i want you to try next time you listen to your favourite song, don't listen to the lyrics, just think about how it makes you feel....now try putting that feeling into words....comment on this blog if you succeed...coz i didn't.

"There is no truer truth obtainable by Man than comes of music"

~Robert Browning

much love